Has it been that long already?

A little over five years ago my wife told me she was pregnant (antibiotics, whoops!). Oddly, I never flinched. I immediately accepted the role as primary caregiver, cause "Hell, how hard could it be?" Well, safe to say, many years separated from that decision, "Holy shit, it's hard!" I never knew how selfish I was until my first child arrived. I was arrogant and high on myself as the father to my son. I was going to raise him to be the best human being this planet has ever seen. Failure, was not an option because I was prepared. Now, when I say prepared, I mean I watched my wife get bigger for nine months and then helped drive the baby home....prepared. Yes, I know a lot of other things happened in between, but quite frankly, most of it is disturbing and I have been trying to remove it from my memory. Back to being selfish. Once, my wife went back to work full time and I was left alone with this creature (yep, creature) I freaked out. I know I'm am not alone in this moment. As a matter of fact, I'm pretty sure 100% of the people freaked out in this moment. Well, it is 5 1/2 years later and I have learned a few things along the way. Still not enough to say I am prepared and every morning I'm still a little freaked out. It hasn't been until recently, though, that I have been able to reflect on what has happened to me over the past few years. This is due to a lack of sleep, diet , exercise, sex and extra amounts of food and alcohol mixed with the instant and ever present chaos brought on by a child , now children, in my life. I, sadly, also find myself to still be selfish. Kids need a lot of everything from day one. They need a lot of "you". Preferably 10 to 20 if you got 'em. That has always been the hardest part for me. I thought I could just instill some daily wisdom from birth and they would be like, "Thanks" and then go to sleep or play or something. Doesn't work that way. I struggle to make sacrifices for my children, but I realize that I have to and I will. I will also complain about it a lot. And hopefully, blog about it and make jokes about it. See? Selfish.